Being a good father The struggle of raising, teaching, and guiding kids

Being a good fatherThe struggle of raising, teaching, and guiding kidsBeing a good fatherThe struggle of raising, teaching, and guiding kidsFrom Washington D.C. to Hollywood, we have seen many high-profile scandals and misconduct involving family men in recent years. Its a heartbreaking reality, especially when children are in the mix.We are still surrounded by good men and fathers, but sometimes its hard to recognize who they are. Sometimes we need a little reminder of what it means to be a good father in this day and age.I grappled with that essential question of what it means to a good father throughout my literary journey. Many letters took years to write but the one that eluded me most welches what it meant to be a good father.The breakthrough came several months after my son was born. As I held him in my arms, asking him what was the secret to being a good father, his answer was my breakthrough - you had to be a good man first. How simple. How perfect. And here is what I wrote to my son that day that has since guided me as both a father and a man, and that I want to share with all fathers and fathers-to-be on this Fathers Day- - - When do you become a man? You become a man when you first decide to put away the things of childhood, the talk of childhood, and the thoughts of childhood. You decide because you canbedrngnis be treated as both a man and a boy. Because you are either one or the other, but you are not both. And it doesnt matter your age - you can be a child at fifteen or forty. Only when you as a boy decide youre done waiting for the man you want to be and start being the man you want to become, do you begin to become a man.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreWhen do you become a man?When you become your own man.When other men trust you to do a mans work. Trust you with their name, their reputation, their thoughts. Trust you to watch their b acks and trust you with their lives.To become a man is to carry out your word because you gave your word. And your word is you as a man.You become a man the moment you understand that responsibility is a real and vital commitment to yourself and others, and not some lazy-dog, all-agreeing grunt.Becoming a man means doing the right thing even though it may be hard or difficult. Boys do what is easiest. A man does what is right, whether easy or not.When do you become a man?You become a man when you marry not just for love but to be a partner with your wife. To be the best man you can be with her, and when you fall short, to admit your shortcomings and to constantly strive to be a great man to your wife.You become a man when, in having children, you not only physically look after and protect them but also protect them with all the love and learning you have to give.You become a man when you give your family the best of who you are. And ultimately by being the best man to yourself and t o your wife, you are being the best man to your children. And that, my Son, is a great gift and responsibility.And what type of man should you be, my Son?A good man. Above all else, strive to be a good man.A good man, in your papas book, is a great man. One who constantly strives to be the best of men, to himself and to others. Because the world can never have enough good men.And what makes a good man, my Son.A good man is being fair. In both your words and your actions.When you admit being wrong. And then right that wrong.A good man knows when hes been humbled, and learns from his humility.Being a good man means to speak with sincerity, and love with certainty.A good man will try to act wisely by thinking first and then acting.A good man tells the truth.A good man lives for the joy in life and the happiness of being alive, not shackled to the wants of the future or the regrets of the past.A good man defends those that cannot defend themselves.And a good man knows the difficulty of being a man, knowing the fall from grace is always near at hand, and thus is always striving to make himself a better man.And as I quickly grow older, my son, I see that the becoming a man and the being a man are eventually and truly one in the same, and the tests and the testing never end. I know in my father heart, and in all the other places I cannot go to at this moment, that I believe in you with all my love, even as time now disappears before me. And I know someday you will become a man to make your papa proud - your own man. Walking true to your own beliefs, carrying your name proudly, ever loyal to a valiant heart, and believing that being a good man in this life is a great endeavor. And on that day, I will somehow be with you. And somehow, I will have been your father. I love you.- - - Carew Papritz is one of the most innovative authorpreneurs of the 21st century, having been compared to the likes of Elon Musk in his approach to book marketing. With a background in Holly wood filmmaking, Papritz understands the art of drama and showmanship as seen through his numerous videos on CarewTube. Papritz promotes his award-winning inspirational book, The Legacy Letters, by creating numerous dynamic, attention-grabbing publicity stunts which are whimsical, fun, and most importantly, effective. From his unique series of First Ever book signings on top of volcanoes, on horseback and in post-Castro Cuba to his annual literacy-driven charity event, The Great Book Balloon Launch, Papritz is making an impact in his industry for being an advocate for literacy and teaching future generations about the importance of legacies.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from jngstes Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

The strange world of appreciation at work Kevin Durant not feeling appreciated

The strange world of appreciation at work Kevin Durant not feeling appreciatedThe strange world of appreciation at work Kevin Durant not feeling appreciatedHere is an example of how individualized and personal feeling appreciation at work is. Kevin Durant, the NBA star, has won the NBA Most Valuable Player Award, two NBA Championship Finals MVP Awards, been selected to 10 NBA All-Star teams, helped lead his team to two NBA championships, and is paid over $100 million. And yet this past week he isreported to have leftthe Golden State Warriors to play with the Brooklyn Nets because he didnt feel appreciated by his fans.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreTo fruchtwein of us this seems incredulous - how can someonenotfeel appreciated when they repeatedly receive awards from their coaches, peers and fans they are consistently described as the dominant, most successful player in their c areer field who receives all sorts of attention and accolades from the media AND makes more money in one year than most of us will make in a lifetime?Two probable reasons exist. First,we know not everyone feels appreciated in the same ways.As demonstrated by the 200,000+ individuals who have taken ourMotivating By Appreciation Inventory,while many people value verbal praise, over 50% of the general workforce prefer to be shown appreciation through other means. So, whatever language of appreciation is important to Mr. Durant, the actions which communicate you are valued apparently havent been used. As we describe in our best-sellingThe 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace,to truly hit the mark and help someone feel truly valued, using the persons preferred language of appreciation is critical (as well as utilizing the specific actions within their primarly language of appreciation).Secondly, at a foundational level,we ultimately need to value ourselves.If, ultimately, we are looking to others to affirm our worth, we will be disappointed. Whether they use affirming words, spend time with us and give us attention, help us accomplish tasks, give us gifts or even celebrate success with high fives, these actions will eventually problematik short if we dont have the internal conviction that I matter (even if it doesnt feel like others feel the same about me.)I hope Mr. Durant - and all of us - learn and can rest in this important factI have value, even when I dont feel appreciated by those around me.This article originally appeared on Appreciation at Work.

Study Women are doing same work as men with different outcomes

Study Women are doing saatkorn work as men with different outcomesStudy Women are doing same work as men with different outcomesOne line of thought for why the gender gap in pay, promotion, and representation at work has endured is that maybe women and men are just different in how they act at the office. That welches the assumption researchers affiliated with analytics company Humanyze were under when they decided to track employees behaviors at a large business strategy firm where women are underrepresented in leadership.To track behavior, they got 100 employees across different levels of seniority to agree to relinquish their privacy and wear sociometric badges - or monitors that recorded employee interactions including frequency and duration of conversations with their colleagues, and how long each speaker got to talk in these conversations. They also used four months of anonymized emails and scheduling data to figure out who was having meetings and generating appropriate contac ts necessary to manage and move up in their careers.Men and women had indistinguishable work patternsThe researchers hypothesized that if they found gender differences in work behavior, it would be in the form of women having fewer mentors, less face time with superiors, and taking a less active role in taking on leadership opportunities than their male counterparts - who were being promoted at much higher rates. In other words, researchers thought women were facing individual problems that could be solved by applying some of Facebook COO Sheryl Sandbergs popular advice to lean in and take control of their careers.But after gathering all the data, they had to toss their hypothesis and start from scratch. Not only were women employees producing quality work at the same rates as men, they were also getting the same scores on their performance evaluations.That meant men were getting promotions at disproportionately higher rates in spite of a documented track record of equal success an d competency among their female peers.We found that men and women had indistinguishable work patterns in the amount of time they spent online, in concentrated work, and in face-to-face conversation, the researchers wrote in Harvard Business Review. The amount of direct interaction with management was identical between genders and that women were just as central as men in the workplaces social network.In other words, women were working just as hard as men to network with management, but werent getting the same results.The only difference that researchers found between women and their male peers was once they each reached the middle management stages of their careers, after having been at the companyfor four to 10 years, the mens careers advanced while the women left.The research was inconclusive on the cause of the womens departure - including whether it was the result of not being promoted or the cause of it.Leaning in doesnt solve for structural problemsThe researchers postulated two theories on why women are leaving the workforce - the first being that unconscious bias is holding women back.If women talk to leadership at similar rates as men, then the problem isnt lack of access but how those conversations are viewed, researchers suggested.So for, example, women and men at the same company might suggest the same idea for how to solve a business problem. But when the woman says it, its dismissed, while when the man says the same idea, its taken seriously.Their alternate theory is that women are seen as mothers first, workers second once they reached the stage where they began their families while still working. Researchers cited a 2014 study on the motherhood penalty that found that each child a woman has reduces her earnings by 4% on average. Under the logic of the motherhood penalty, employers perceive working moms as being less committed to the job or a more risky bet. As a result, employers are less likely to hire, promote or retain those women, accordi ng to the theory.Its important to acknowledge that the sample size of the gender behavior experiment was small, but this study is an important step toward debunking the idea that leaning in to your career is all you need to get that promotion - as Sheryl Sandberg has since acknowledged.